Do not go gentle into that good night.

What Dylan said.

It is about that time to make some sort of plan. Drifting aimlessly is only good for the none-sentient.

I've already mentioned my thoughts of doing something different on bikes. Those idyll dreams are beginning to coalesce. Saab Salomon Avalanche.

I have also had some thoughts on a bike to use. I'm blaming 2004 ssec champ Dan Darwood squarely, if not fairly for that. More on this soon.

What else? Apart from drowning in H1N1, anyway?

Cross racing is always hard. Perhaps one of the joys of it in Scotland has been the variety of the courses. The last race in Inverkeithing was for me a watershed. I'm going to have a break.

The course was very euro. Essentially an 80% grass, waterlogged loop, with 3 staircases thrown in for good measure. All corners were off camber. The bikes packed up remarkably fast (apart from those that fit fatties fine). With so many derailleurs hanging off i wondered if there would be a rush on singlespeed cross bikes, but with the pain in my arms from dragging my bike around in foot deep mud i doubt that will be the case.

This is all well and good if there is the resource and desire for second bikes and pit crews but for me it forms an impasse. No more for the moment. I'll have a week or 2 off and then re-assess.

And so much for that. Maybe i am weak, but i will not choose to be weak *and* unhappy.

The world continues to steam-roll towards doom, with china trying all sorts to block free speech and the mess in the middle east . Pathetic, isn't it?

Maybe it is truly time to throw my arms up in the air and go hide in the highlands. Who knows?



Meanwhile, it's a case of continuing to claw and scrape my way through the day to day, all the while remembering that which the existentialists held so dear: the challenge is to choose to live.